Peggy. 18. Cape Cod, MA. Modest Mouse. Grizzly Bear. Tokyo Police Club. Vampire Weekend. The Dodos. Tim & Eric's Awesome Show. The Eric Andre Show. Teenus. Sus.
I’m not going to lie to myself.
I can’t stop thinking of you.
I’m a fool,
Our hearts are cruel,
Out source our daily supply of fuel,
I miss you,
Get the clue,
A day with or without you makes me blue.
I don’t get you.
No… you like Modest Mouse? And like, Grizzly Bear, and bands no one has ever heard of…? Why do you like that preppy little love-pop pretty boy?
I got bored and felt like writing this, so I am, just for me.
I found Never Shout Never when I was in 7th grade when a game called Tap Tap Revolution for the brand new iPod Touch came out. At the time, I was in middle school so my music taste was obviously a little off and I really liked an NSN song on the game called “Heregoesnothin”. I looked him up on myspace and saw that he was obviously adorable, and when you’re in middle school thats all that matters, cause I liked a cute little 16 year old kid who could sing that no one else knew about. He was very average to me at the time and I guess I listened to his new music whenever he had any, and it was pretty good to me at the time. After What Is Love? came out when I was in 8th grade I started to really like his music because I was into the Beatles at the time. I remember one day at the dinner table in late 2009, my friend Maeve texted me freaking out that Never Shout Never was coming to Boston. I’d never been to a concert before and was only 14 so I expected disapproval from my parents but unexpectedly they agreed to take us and I of course, went insane. NSN wasn’t my top priority at the time but I got really excited anyways. On April 29th, 2010 I waited in line for hours at the Boston House of Blues and anxiously awaited the performance. While waiting, at the near beginning of the line, I saw a little furry hat peeking out over a few peoples heads. I grabbed Maeve’s shoulder with an inappropriate amount of force and just screamed “IT’S HIM”. I don’t know what I was expecting, but he walked out to see us and I swear to god I’ve never understood the feeling I got when I first saw him. Little 19 year old Chris was there in his god-damned bear hat and my stomach fell through the cement, I felt like I got punched in the face. I have no idea why this happened, it shouldn’t have been such a big deal but I felt numb. Sounds pathetic? Of course. Anyways, we saw him perform that night and my god, I had the time of my life. I knew shows were where I wanted to be. I’ve attended around 30 concerts since then, 12 of them being Christofer’s. I couldn’t stop after that, I became obsessed. I always talked about Chris, I annoyed the shit out of my friends but I didn’t care because I fell in love with the damn kid and I didn’t know why. From that day on, Chris became a legitimate part of my life. I listened to everything he said and what he said was always beautiful, positive things that really helped me appreciate life and grow into the person I am today. I truly lived by his words, I remember trying so hard to be the best person and friend I could be to everyone. I told everyone I came in contact with to love everyone and everything. My friends thought I was batshit crazy but I was happy and it worked for me. Whenever I felt upset or lonely (common for a middle schooler) I would never stay that way for long because I knew I had Chris, even if he wasn’t a physical part of my world. This was real to me, I had a friend that I could always come home to and his music would always be there and he never failed me. I know it sounds stupid but to me it was real, he was one of the only “people” I ever felt would always be there. I would continue to see Chris every two or so months and everyone said it was a phase. I kinda figured it probably was. I started to realize his music was not for me anymore but I still stuck around because I admired watching him grow as a human being and become the beautiful person he is today. He always has been. But here I am, 4 years later. I’m 18 now and I’m seeing Chris for my 13th time tomorrow. High school was not easy, and it still isn’t. You are unfortunately exposed to a lot of reality in the world and it’s hard to cope with at such a young age. You find out that things change and people leave, and that was a big part of high school for me. I found out no matter how close you are with people, almost always they will fuck you over somehow, and I know that’s on a sad note but it’s what hit me the hardest throughout high school. I always had Chris. Even when I kinda gave up on him for a while, shit went wrong in my life and he was there waiting. He always has been. Chris is one of the only constants in my life. Growing up, that’s saying a lot. Things are ever-changing and it’s terrifying but I know I’ll always have Chris to make me feel better. It’s pathetic to most people but for me it works. So I don’t care what you think about Chris. The kid has got me through some real shit. And I’ve been there through his struggles too. I’ve had the privilege to watch a human being grow and I’ve gotten to grow alongside him. He’s taught me a lot of what I know and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without him. Doesn’t matter to me what kind of music phase he’s going through I’m always going to be there for him because he’s a beautiful person and I really do owe it to him. Can’t wait to see him tomorrow. That is all.